Realizing this was here was like that time I logged into my myspace page after two years. EEEEEK.
This is me, Amanda. I’m 24 years old and live in Eastern Ohio. I’m a bartender at a local sports bar, and plan on going back to school as soon as I can figure out exactly what i want to do with my life. I’m good at making people laugh, and knowing exactly what to say and exactly when to say it. I’m single, and I have been for a while now. Truth is, I hate it, I’m sick of it, and most days, I’m pretty freaking lonely. I have a great group of friends, they’re great mostly because they are my friends, but I digress. My family is the world to me, and I’d literally take a bullet for any of them, although, for my sake, I’m hoping it never comes down to that. I’m sarcastic, in a good way, or so I’d like to think, and I’m also a complete and total asshole, 85% of the time, but for some reason, people love me for it…I think? I’m semi new to Tumblr, new meaning that Ive been here before, had a nice long run, took a break, and recently decided to fully re-surface. SO, if you’ve followed me before, hello again, if not, Hiiiiiyyaaa nice to meet ya! I don’t know why I felt the need to do this, seeing as how 99% of you could give a shit less about who I am, but, I thought, what the hell, why not? Anything else you wanna know? Consider me an open book. Ask away! I look forward to hearing from you, maybe, I mean, if you chose to contact me, in anyway.
Later, tumblr geeks :)
Much Love XOXO
There’s only so much one person can take, especially when it comes to faith. So, it brings me to this question. How can you really have faith in the greater good of people, when it seems that the only thing continuously beaming from every single person is everything bad inside them? You might think that everyones good, inside, deep, deep inside, maybe. But, is that really the case? Even myself, I question the good in me. Without being too modest I will admit, In my own opinion, I’m a pretty good person, I have a big heart, when I chose to show it, and I’d honestly do anything for anyone I truly care about, hell, even people that I don’t particularly care for sometimes, I’ll still extend a helping hand, when I have one to spare, but I’ll also admit, I don’t do nearly as much as I could sometimes, most times, actually. I question how ‘good’ I actually am, nearly everyday. So, it makes it hard for me to put my faith in the fact that anyone truly has good intentions, or is whole-heartedly a good, decent human being, by all accounts necessary. I guess I don’t really have faith in the human race. Most times, I try to convince myself I do, and that I should, but its seemingly impossible, especially in my life. I want to trust myself, and others around me, and trust that they are who, and what they claim to be, I just wish people made it easier to do so. I haven’t blogged in a while, but I thought this morning, I needed to. I’m frustrated with life, with mine, and with others.
I needed to vent. Not knowing if anyone is reading this, and if they are, if this even makes any kind of sense, due to the fact that I’m mearly rambling, not proof reading, re-reading my entry or anything of that nature.
Ghandi says, “You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is like an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.”
But how? How, when so much out there makes you feel like you must, you must lose that faith, maybe to save yourself, or to save another, how are you supposed to live, day by day, filled with disappointment, and not blame humanity, and people who seemingly lack just that?
I’d rather live, day by day, keeping this in mind…
“Doubt everything. Find your own light."-Buddha
but i can’t
- me halfway through straightening my hair: i don't want to do this anymore